


you won't ever be alone (wait for me to come home)

by thequeenofokay



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 08:10:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4698659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequeenofokay/pseuds/thequeenofokay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been three weeks since she died—since he killed her. It’s a little less since he saved her.</p><p>//    five times they are not okay. five times they say they are. once they might be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you won't ever be alone (wait for me to come home)

**Author's Note:**

> \+ i'm gonna keep writing "kara's not really dead???" fics until the end of time tbh.
> 
> \+ love u georgia.
> 
> \+ title from "photograph" by ed sheeran.

**one.**

It’s been three weeks since she died—since he killed her. It’s a little less since he saved her. Not him, exactly, but the scientists and doctors he dug up through his Hydra connections (and now he owes a lot of dangerous people a lot of money).

She wakes screaming. He holds her against his chest as she shakes, and knows that this is his fault.

This isn’t the first night it’s happened, and he knows it won’t be the last. But tonight is worse than usual. After half an hour, the hotel’s receptionist knocks on the door.

‘Is everything okay?’ she asks. ‘We had reports of a disturbance.’

‘It’s fine,’ Grant says. It’s not. Kara’s kneeling on the bed, tangled in sheets. She’s still shaking slightly, her breathing heavy. It’s only three am, but she probably won’t sleep again tonight.

‘Is she okay?’ the receptionist asks, frowning.

 _No_ , Grant wants to say. She’s so, so far from okay.

‘She has nightmares,’ he says. ‘She’s fine.’

The receptionist hovers in the door, looking worried. Then Kara looks up, and whispers, ‘Grant,’ and he shuts the door in the receptionist’s face.

**two.**

In the morning, he gets the first call while they’re eating breakfast in the hotel’s restaurant, the first _i want my money by the end of the week_.

‘Who was it?’ she asks.

‘I…’ he begins, and then he says, ‘I’m sorry.’ He keeps saying it lately. He’s not sure how to stop himself.

‘Hey,’ she says. She reaches across the table and takes his hand. She’s looks concerned, frowning slightly. ‘Is everything okay?’

He tries to smile in that tight, pained way. ‘Yes,’ he says. ‘I just have something to take care of.’

‘Grant?’ she asks, worried.

He can’t keep it from her. He _won’t_ keep anything from her. ‘To save you,’ he says, ‘it was expensive. I need to find a way pay some people back.’

‘Grant,’ she says, ‘what have you done?’

‘Don’t worry,’ he says. He lifts her hand and kisses her knuckles. ‘I’ll sort it out. It doesn’t matter what I have to do, as long as you’re—as long as you’re alive.’ She’s staring at him. He needs her to know it will be okay. ‘I’ll fix it,’ he says. ‘I promise.’

**three.**

He’s got contacts, still, the kind he’d prefer to never have to call again. But he needs money, he needs lots of it, and he needs it fast.

He gets fixed up with a job a city away. It’s just a simple hit on a low-ranking diplomat. He’s done this before for Shield or for Garrett more times than he wants to count. He doesn’t need specifics on why his mark has to die.

‘Will you be okay if I leave you here?’ he asks Kara.

She smiles, like she thinks he can’t see the panic in her eyes. ‘Yes,’ she says. ‘I’ll be fine.’

‘Kara?’ He wraps her in his arms. ‘I need to do this,’ he says. ‘But I need to know you’ll be safe.’

‘Of course I will be,’ she says. Her voice is shaking. She’s so strong, so beautiful, so brave.

‘You could come,’ he says, because somehow, taking her on the job is less terrible than leaving her in their quiet, safe hotel room. ‘I’ll protect you.’

‘I don’t need to be protected, Grant,’ she says.

He nods, and tries not to think of the scars on her abdomen, tries not to think about how maybe it’s him she needs protecting from. ‘I know,’ he says.

 

**four.**

It goes wrong from the start, and maybe that should have been expected. There’s no way for him to get a shot from a distance.

‘Wait here,’ he tells Kara. ‘I won’t be long, I promise.’ She gives him a long look, squeezes his hand, and doesn’t say anything, so he adds, ‘It’ll be fine.’ She nods, kissing him on the cheek before he goes.

The building’s security is pitiable, and Grant can almost, almost forget that what he’s doing is something he told himself he’d never go back to after what happened to Kara.

It’s easy slipping back into being Agent Grant Ward. He’s was that man for so long, and he never had much will to get rid of the persona until Kara.

He makes it into the man’s office, and he’s right in front of him, point blank, and Grant can’t do it. He thinks he might be shaking, he thinks he might be sick. He’s back three weeks ago and he’s shooting Kara in the chest and he can’t do it again. Not again. Not ever.

 

**five.**

There’s four shots, and Kara’s lowering her gun. The mark crumples.

She gives Grant a look that’s terrified and sympathetic and close to tears all at once. He catches her, tugs her close.

‘Fuck,’ she whispers. She’s shivering against him. ‘Was that okay? Are we okay?’

Grant holds her tighter, still trying to keep her safe. ‘We’re okay,’ he says.

‘I don’t ever want to do that again,’ she says.

Grant feels guilt sticking in his throat. ‘I’m sorry you had to,’ he says. ‘I’m so sorry I couldn’t do it.’

‘No,’ she says, and shakes her head, her breathing unsteady. ‘It’s okay. It’s over.’

‘Yes,’ Grant agrees. ‘It’s over.’

 

**\+ one.**

They buy a car with the money left over. It’s second hand, and a little beaten up, but it’s good. It’s theirs. It’s the start of something new.

‘We could try to settle down,’ he says. ‘We could start a new life.’

She gives him a wishful sort of look. ‘Doing what?’ she asks. ‘We only know how to be spies.’

‘We don’t have to be what Shield and Hydra made us,’ he says.

She doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t have to. She nods.

‘Where do you want to go?’ he asks.

She hums. ‘We could go anywhere,’ she says. She pulls a map out the glove compartment. It’s a basic, touristy one they picked up at a gas station, and she flattens it out on her knees.

‘What do you think?’ she asks. She’s smiling, and just that smile makes him feel so _good_ , makes him know that everything is going to be okay.

‘You choose,’ he says.

She smiles brighter and squeezes her eyes shut. Her finger hovers over the map before it comes to rest on their new home.

 

**Author's Note:**

> \+ [tumblr](http://karapalamas.tumblr.com) // [twitter](http://twitter.com/karapalamas)


End file.
